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I said, “Anything, Sana. Tea would be fine if it’s not a trouble for you and of course you should join me for the tea.” She went to the kitchen to make tea. I started checking messages on my iPad. The maid interrupted saying, “Saab, please sit I need to mop the floor.”So saying she started mopping the floor with the duster. I was snidely looking at the maid too. This maid Radha of Sana was a widow. She was in her thirties but was short and bloated with a huge tummy. But she had quite a big set of protruding tits.This I could make out from the braless blouse which she had worn. She finished her work and went to the kitchen to clean the vessels. “Jiju aapka chai.” Sana gave me the tea and her hanky fell down. She nonchalantly bent down to pick it up. That’s when I saw a glimpse of her tits. Nice and perky.There was a sign of an erect nipple. She quickly got up and sat opposite side having tea. “Have some biscuits, jiju,” so saying she leaned and offered the plate with biscuits. Again I. I can't even believe in myself anymore. I've lost the desire to create and bring laughter to others. I can't bring myself to want anything, to hope or even love.I don't deserve love anyway, not even love for myself. I did a horrible thing to someone else and deserve to suffer for it. Coincidentally, I've found a perfect way to do that. Sexual humiliation has become something I am rather good at taking and being used has taken over any of my previous sexual preferences.Finding the men is easy enough, especially when I tell them that I don't care who they are - something that seems mutual to most men nowadays. I don't think I've even asked their names the past few times. Thankfully, they don't mind that.Sometimes there are handsome ones who come along who seem nice enough but I prefer to blindfold them beforehand. Truth be told, I do it because I can't stand the thought of another man that I'm attracted to seeing how ugly I am underneath my clothes. Gratefully, they don't mind that.
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